Oh well...we were out having fun again!
It is good enough (my new seld-love mantra!) that I am here now, right? RIGHT!
Well, you might change your mind about that after reading on...!
Keeping with a "daily theme" type blogging format, this is a "MY MONDAY" post...
So...I was looking forward to a wonderfully productive, light filled, lovely shining brimming with delight and creativity day today, and even chose to stay home alone to spend time on all of this heart and soul work today rather than have Jeff drop me off downtown to play while he went on site at his job to meet his new assistant...
What a complete CRAB A** I have been all day long! At already 3:30 pm, I feel I have accomplished little to nothing other than getting a numb rear and bleary eyes from sitting in front of my laptop for *blank* hours!
EVERYlittlething is annoying me and going "wrong" today! I have a super short fuse and my head is achy and I feel like I am full of this shaky nervous energy yet I'm exhausted and ready for the day to be over!
I am trying to figure out why...and here is what I came up with:
*went to bed "early" - around 11:30 pm
*woke up at least 5 times throughout the night
*awake,restless, bored, not tired and anxious with my brain unable to settle down from around 4 am until after 5 am...
*awake again at 6:09 am...
*slept on & off from 6:45-7:45 am
*up for day before 8 am
*no morning latte (trying to NOT make it the very first thing in my body everyday!)
*but the delicious smell of fresh ground & brewed coffee wafted throughout the house and tempted/annoyed/delighted me! (Jeff made his before leaving early this morning!)
*blue screen of death/crash dump bs on my laptop shortly after opening it and starting to work...
*lost internet connection a few times during photo uploads +lost photo uploads & time & had to do it AGAIN
*my sweet baby dogs incessant barking at nothing, my yelling at her, her upset and then my guilt
*attempting to relax by doing a guided meditation...but encountering problems & inturruptions FOUR TIMES!
*spending time "bowing out" of various swapping group overcommitments and feeling guilty/relieved
*trying to listen to various hay House Radio live streaming programs but losing them every minute or so...grrrrrr!!! Why does technology hate me?!!
*an acute feeling of missing my kids and grandbaby and friends (even though i am excitedly counting down the days until i get to be with them for 3 weeks...24 and counting!)
*what a whiner!
(i can't believe you are still reading this!)
Yeah, I know...nothing really major...like a hurricane or rat in the house or accidental dismemberment.
Still, I just cannot shake this feeling of wanting a DO OVER for today.
Mainly because this is SO NOT the day I envisioned, planned, hoped for and looked forward to!
I kinda feel dissapointed in MYSELF for letting it all get to me.
And spending / wasting so many hours lettijng it build up & ramping myself into a state of
level 666 red alert annoyance!
I am trying to immerse myself in my Goddessness.
To surround myself with the ever growing incredibleness of this day, this life, this world...
To remember that I am a spiritual being having a human experience.
Yes. YES! That made me smile! That made my heart soften. It almost mademe chuckle a bit.
I kinda get it, feel it, realize this to be true with this rather crappy human day I am having!
Huh...so THAT is what it means.
I so wanted to live my spirit today, to have a shining light sparkly fairy dust ride a unicorn see a double rainbow hug a koala bear kind of day.
I got a human day.
An imperfect, messy, boring, tiresome, frustrating, dumb, disappointing, pooey kind of day.
Like a lot of people have.
A lot of humans.
And, apparently, alot of spiritual beings as well.
"It is not what happens to you.
It is what DO with what happens to you."
doesn't really feel like it has been mine, but heck, there are still about 8 hours left to make it mine!
Spirit, do your stuff!
I'm ready to be: