Monday, August 29, 2011

MY Monday!

Ooops. Another "bump" right over blogging yesterday. huh.
Oh well...we were out having fun again!
It is good enough (my new seld-love mantra!) that I am here now, right? RIGHT!
Well, you might change your mind about that after reading on...!

Keeping with a "daily theme" type blogging format, this is a "MY MONDAY" post...



So...I was looking forward to a wonderfully productive, light filled, lovely shining brimming with delight and creativity day today, and even chose to stay home alone to spend time on all of this heart and soul work today rather than have Jeff drop me off downtown to play while he went on site at his job to meet his new assistant...
but MAN!
What a complete CRAB A** I have been all day long! At already 3:30 pm, I feel I have accomplished little to nothing other than getting a numb rear and bleary eyes from sitting in front of my laptop for *blank* hours!
EVERYlittlething is annoying me and going "wrong" today! I have a super short fuse and my head is achy and I feel like I am full of this shaky nervous energy yet I'm exhausted and ready for the day to be over!
I am trying to figure out why...and here is what I came up with:
*went to bed "early" - around 11:30 pm

*woke up at least 5 times throughout the night

*awake,restless, bored, not tired and anxious with my brain unable to settle down from around 4 am until after 5 am...

*awake again at 6:09 am...

*slept on & off from 6:45-7:45 am

*up for day before 8 am

*no morning latte (trying to NOT make it the very first thing in my body everyday!)

*but the delicious smell of fresh ground & brewed coffee wafted throughout the house and tempted/annoyed/delighted me! (Jeff made his before leaving early this morning!)

*blue screen of death/crash dump bs on my laptop shortly after opening it and starting to work...

*lost internet connection a few times during photo uploads +lost photo uploads & time & had to do it AGAIN

*my sweet baby dogs incessant barking at nothing, my yelling at her, her upset and then my guilt

*attempting to relax by doing a guided meditation...but encountering problems & inturruptions FOUR TIMES!

*spending time "bowing out" of various swapping group overcommitments and feeling guilty/relieved

*trying to listen to various hay House Radio live streaming programs but losing them every minute or so...grrrrrr!!! Why does technology hate me?!!

*an acute feeling of missing my kids and grandbaby and friends (even though i am excitedly counting down the days until i get to be with them for 3 weeks...24 and counting!)

*sigh
*today sucks
*i suck
*what a whiner!
(i can't believe you are still reading this!)

Yeah, I know...nothing really major...like a hurricane or rat in the house or accidental dismemberment.
Still, I just cannot shake this feeling of wanting a DO OVER for today.
Mainly because this is SO NOT the day I envisioned, planned, hoped for and looked forward to!
I kinda feel dissapointed in MYSELF for letting it all get to me.
And spending / wasting so many hours lettijng it build up & ramping myself into a state of 
level 666 red alert annoyance!

**breathe**

I am trying to immerse myself in my Goddessness.
To surround myself with the ever growing incredibleness of this day, this life, this world...
To remember that I am a spiritual being having a human experience.

Yes. YES! That made me smile! That made my heart soften. It almost mademe chuckle a bit.
 I kinda get it, feel it, realize this to be true with this rather crappy human day I am having!

Huh...so THAT is what it means.
I so wanted to live my spirit today, to have a shining light sparkly fairy dust ride a unicorn see a double rainbow hug a koala bear kind of day.

But instead,

I got a human day.
An imperfect, messy, boring, tiresome, frustrating, dumb, disappointing, pooey kind of day.
Like a lot of people have.
A lot of humans.
And, apparently, alot of spiritual beings as well.

"It is not what happens to you.
It is what DO with what happens to you."
Huxley

"My Monday"...
doesn't really feel like it has been mine, but heck, there are still about 8 hours left to make it mine!

Spirit, do your stuff!

I'm ready to be:
Happy Me-LaurieZ







13 comments:

  1. Oh dear, one of THOSE days! Argh! I certainly empathise with you. It's so frustrating. Maybe it's shaken the sillies out now and you'll be able to bring in more fresh inspiring energy. Here's hoping!

    Blessings,
    Donna

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  2. I TOTALLY know how you are feeling today. It seems to be in the air or something because yesterday I woke up and I was completely crabby and it just seemed like everything went wrong.
    It sounds like your day completely sucked and I think if I were you I would've ripped my hair out.
    Kudos to you for trying to turn your day around. I hope that you were/are successful!

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  3. Thanks Goddesses...I soon found that I was not alone in having "one of those days"...and it has actually been "one of those weeks" for some!I know that I often "feed into" my accumulating one little crappy thing happening after another days, and when I realize that is happening, I need to just stop-breathe and be aware of how my attitude/reaction in sure to create more instances of frustration, like a snowball effect! But then again, sometimes, you just gotta go ahead and flip off the world to get though the day! hee hee! :)

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  4. It's amazing how a fitful night of sleep can snowball into a crappy day! I hope that you've been having sweet dreams since and continuing to breathe through it.

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  5. Oh my gosh, Laurie... your Monday totally sucked! I'm so sorry. What a list of things going wrong. I am not going to complain about my Monday... I'll lose to you hands down. LOL

    I hope like crazy Tuesday is doing better for you.

    Bright blessings,
    Bird http://birdsearthyspirit.blogspot.com/

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  6. Sending you lots of love and breathing light into your Monday!
    I've been sitting in front of my screen for hours accomplishing very little. Maybe today is just the energy of, well, Monday. Here's to a pumped up shiny Tuesday!

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  7. I can really relate to how you feel about your day! My mantra on days like these, along with "WTF?" is "acceptance, acceptance, acceptance". Hard to do but it at least makes me breathe deeper. Sending smiles, Em x

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  8. I'd murder people with no morning latte

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  9. Good grief! That was a long, crappy day! I have to confess, I skipped to the bottom. I have the attention span of a little kid most days.

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  10. Aww poor you. Days like that suck big time. They also make the good days even better though thinking optimistically! We all have days like that, usually one every week or two. I hope the rest of your week went much better:-)
    Louise x

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  11. We've all been there! Some days just suck! What can you do but just go with the flow. I always try to learn something from it. Maybe I need to do something to fix the situation. Maybe I'm just not meant to work that day! Sucky days sure make us appreciate the good days!

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  12. I know just how it feels, especially in the dreaded moments of techno-failures. Just how hard it can be to feel the always-there arms of the Goddess wrapping you in her love.

    Keep breathing, beautiful, and if you can but remember it, ask yourself the magical question: Is there room for love, even here, in this now moment?

    It's a game-changer,and I'm so happy to share it with you!

    Love and magic,
    Sue

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  13. Ahhh glad that day is over, but you know, its exactly as you say, a human experience, we all get them, we all get agitated at them but its great you were aware enough to notice, to wonder and to divert your energy.. Beautiful question by Sue above, (thanks, will remember to ask myself that also in the inevitable crappy moments) Love * blessings, Carolne

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