I had some difficulty coming up with very much that I feel truly "hungry" for-(not sure if that is "good thing" or a "bad thing"!). To me that is such a serious, passionate, fierce word, far more so than just "wanting" or even "dreaming of", which seems much more, I don't know, distant and fantasy-like. But "hungry"? That word speaks of need, nourishment, sustenance, survival. More than just something that would make you happy if it happened. I am so content, grateful and enamoured of the life I am lucky enough to be living. Nothing really came to mind as being something I feel actually hungry for...
So yesterday, the 9th, I took some time to go through a few magazines and cut out images and words that caught my eye or spoke to me. many of which I had no concrete idea about what it's meaning might be in the context of the answer to the question I was to represent in my dreamboard.
You can see in the first photo of this post above that I chose to make my dreamboards using plain white posterboard folded in half, one for each month, in a large book format.
Here are some photos of my first dreamboard...
|collecting images & designing the layout of the board|
I AM HUNGRY FOR:
|a place/ way/ the courage to begin creating with media that intrigues and excites me|
|a creative, artistic life designed by me, |
encompassing all of the various forms of creating which call to me
|the realization that I am the only one able to free myself from my fear of failing|
when it comes to new artistic expression,
and the only way to do that is to unbind myself from that fear,
|I adore that this first full moon was on my birthday-how magical!|
I want to let my creative spirit move me into action
and stop "fretting" about the possibility of
"messing up" or not being "good enough"
|my completed board after painting and adding information|
I do not feel that way about ANY other artistic medium I am interested in or have tried, and it has thus far kept me from trying them OR if I DO try, I am so fraught with insecurities and negative thought blockage that the result, along with the entire process and experience, is bound to be less than pleasing or enjoyable whatsoever!
So in essence, it appears that
I am hungry for:
*less fear-more freedom
*less self-judgement-more self-expression
*less expectations-more experience
Last night, around 4 am, I was awoken by a bright light shining into our bedroom windows, which face West, into the woods. It was the full moon, high above the 200 feet tall trees, bright enough to read by!
I briefly thought "I want to get up and look out the window", but I was barely awake enough to think that thought, and recall just the feeling of "ah, yes, so beautiful" before drifting back into slumber, hoping it's luminous light would set a spark in my heart to go forth with a clearer sense of how to feed my creative soul and satiate my hunger.
Doing so would definitely make a :
Happy Me-Laurie Z!